Monday, August 27, 2018

       WHAT WOULD  YOU DO TO GET YOUR HANDS ON                    YOUR FIRST GUERNSEY MILK COW                                          



Well in my case it was more like what wouldn't I do?. 
It had been a dream of mine to get a Guernsey milk cow for years.
 That beautiful sun-kissed  milk. 
That thick gorgeous golden cream. 
That amazing auspicious yellow butter.
Who wouldn't leap over obstacles to get that?. But alas. It seemed it was a pipe dream. There was not a Guernsey to be had in Western Canada. 
Then out of the blue, one Saturday evening my daughter Tamara..aka, my partner in crime, sent me a text stating there was a kijiji ad about a Guernsey cow in Stony Plain Alta.
What ?Really?
 I am all over that. I found the ad on kijiji..Not an easy task if you've ever tried to find something you saw online. I emailed the seller immediately.
An hour later no response. So I called the number immediately. Damn! an answering machine. OK I leave a polite message stating the obvious.. I am calling about the Guernsey cow listed on Kijiji
 Another hour later I haven't heard a thing from this poster. I call again . Because maybe I didn't leave my number.  Did I ? maybe, maybe not I wasn't thinking straight . I was too excited. The Adrenalin must be fogging up  my brain. This time the message was an ongoing rambling of excited gibberish about always wanting a Guernsey , and my Dad milked a Guernsey cross cow and he told us back then how much healthier milk was for us from the Guernsey than the Holstein. But who pays any attention to their parents at that age, But here I am and those words are echoing in my brain over and over. .blah blah blah . Well I was getting antsier by the minute . It was getting late.. normally I would be in bed by 9, but who could sleep. I cant sleep . What if someone else gets a hold of him before me.

Then i thought hey! That was a cell Number.. ill text that person ..Just in case the sound is off on their phone.
Well turns out the sound was off and HE was in a meeting. He didnt sound annoyed in the text....lol. Sometimes you can tell..

Ok no problem, just settle down . He'll call me. When he gets home. That's what he said.

At 10;30 I still hadn't heard from him.  What do I do. ??/
 "OH MY GOD!" my husband yelled from the living room. . "You are stalking this poor man."
Yes come to think of it thats exactly what i was dong. What is wrong with me?
But what if someone else calls him and talks to him before he gets my messages. What if its already sold..
I resigned myself to the fact that I was never going to own a Guernsey milk cow.
 Well the story continued for another half hour... me pacing the floor till the phone rang.  Well it almost rang .. I guess you could say it Ra...
 I grabbed the phone in mid ring and there was dead silence on the other end.
"hello?  Hello?" what the hell why aren't you saying hello.
then..
"Hello? Betty? Betty at 555-555-5555? Betty at cell number at 777-777-7777? then he began to laugh. I understand you want a Guernsey milk cow.  Really desperately I would say"
"yes Yes i do. And you have one." Normally I would be embarrassed at the fact that my emotions were all over the texts and the phone calls.
" Well No i dont."
My heart went from being in the back of my throat to plunging to the pit of my stomach in half a  second flat.
 I knew it. I didn't try hard enough.
Impossible no one tries harder than me ...ever...Like ...never.
 Turns out he had cows, they just weren't trained to milk..they were just cows at this point. Who cares i'm gonna get a Guernsey!
 Well as luck would have it, he was impressed with my tenacity and persistence. He had 33 calls( during his meeting) to field and mine was first. WOO HOO
 Im going to get my cow.
Then he tells me he has 2 of them and would give precedence to the buyer who would  take them   together,
The story continued as this.  He bought them from the USA sight unseen just for his dad to look at in his last years he had left. His dad was gone now. The cows had never been milked but I didnt care.
 They were both bred when he got themin 2011. One ended up having a heifer the other had a bull calf. One cow died but not before she raised her bull calf. And then....he bred the other 2 ..the cow and her heifer calf . Next year each had a heifer...  are you lost yet. I was .Alas I said I would take both. Yes you heard right.
 So in actual fact, if  I wanted a cow I had to take both cows  mother and daughter re-bred and their  suckling calves. For twice the money. I begged my hubby to the point where he was defenseless to my whining..
We were on the road by 8 am the next morning. It was a very quiet ride there and an even quieter ride home...except for the odd squeal under my breath.

Arriving  in Calgary about noon-ish but weren't to meet him till later because  he would be in church till noon then a church lunch and home by 2. No worries.  I can wait .. But i couldnt. This guy must be a sadist. He was torturing me, making me wait,  What kind of Christian would make me wait even 1 more minute.
I whined to my hubby to get on the road out to the guys farm.We drove out to the acreage where the cows were.. They were gorgeous. I could see them from the road. "Give me those binoculars." I said to Les. I need a closeup look at them .  I was peering into this guys yard with the binoculars from the road, hanging out my window so as not raise suspicions, ( ya right, that scene isn't peculiar at all!)
 Finally a jeep drives up and i'm hoping its him .."Garth? is that you?"
"Yes" he said looking  guarded at the binoculars in my hand. "Betty? I presume"
"Yes! Yes its me."we followed him up his driveway and I jumped out of the truck and ran to the cows. Wow there was a lot of cows in that pen. "Hurry Honey lets get them loaded.
I ran back to the truck to get my cheque book. No way was  I letting this not happen. I could hear him talking to my husband, I walked over quickly to where he and my husband stood. He had his back turned to me but I could see the grin on my husbands face what ? what was so funny. Garth turned around to face me and I exclaimed out loud.

"OH MY GOD I "VE BEEN STALKING A  VICAR "
We all had a good laugh and a quick visit. and then we were on the road again

 I bought the whole herd. 2 cows with calves, bred back and the herd sire. Whoa. Les, my husband, never spoke to me the whole way home. But I wasnt too worried, I knew he would come around.
 Buying those cows turns out to be one of  the best thing we've ever done.
 Betty

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